"Hate Watching".. The Ultimate Loser's Mentality.. and How to Fix It.

As business owners in the digital age, we have to find the balance between using Facebook for business and getting sucked into the crap online that can zap your energy and create huge distractions.

Like it or not, we need facebook. We use it to provide value to our clients and prospects, nurture relationships, and learn new information to advance our academies.

But sometimes social media can impede our growth by becoming an obsessive & negative distraction. A lot of people who get caught up in the downside of social media end up quitting altogether or going on a hiatus which ultimately hurts your brand because you’ve ghosted on your clients.

So how do you find the balance? How do you focus on being a social media ‘producer’ instead of a ‘consumer’ of negativity while STILL learning from the coaches and mentors that will help you develop into a better entrepreneur and grow your business?

Easy.. You employ the unsung hero of Facebook, the ‘unfollow’ button. You might be saying, “Yeah.. I know all about that..” “I’ve used it before.” But, today, in true ‘Amy’ fashion, I want to share with you a 3 Step System of WHEN & WHY to use the Unfollow button to its greatest potential… which will in turn allow YOU to achieve YOUR greatest potential.

Number 1… Unfollow when posts drive you nuts.. When you just fundamentally disagree with what they are saying, hit that unfollow button because there are sure to be many more posts you don’t like on their way.

Life is all about expanding your horizons.. ‘LIFE’ is about that.. Not facebook.

Conversations about controversial topics in real life have multiple layers of nonverbal communication, context clues, previous relationship history, understanding, the benefit of the doubt, and usually, a genuine desire to continue a relationship with the person AFTER the conversation.

None of those things exist on facebook.. Or at least, not like they do in the ‘real world.’

Posts can cause MAJOR stress & discord. They can make you genuinely upset.. But FB is NOT the place for debate or discussion. You will NEVER change anybody’s mind on Facebook, and nobody is going to change yours. For one, half of the ‘facts’ used in arguments on FB are bogus, and second, keyboard commandos have no desire to see your side. They simply want to show off all of the nasty words they know or point out your bad grammar when they are losing ground in an argument.

So quit wasting your time.

Unfollow at the first, or at least the second, sign of discord and focus on pleasant experiences & positive people.

Number 2… Unfollow when somebody’s posts are totally incongruent with their REAL LIFE personality.

Everybody knows someone like this.. Maybe its a client, or a coworker, an acquaintance or some other ‘surface level’ relationship. You ‘friend’ them on facebook only to realize that they are a legitimately terrible person! Maybe they are racist as hell, hate women or children, puppies, or bacon, and now you feel like there is no actual way you can associate with them anymore..

Hit the unfollow… and then continue on with your surface level relationship if you have to.

In a perfect world, we could cut these bacon-haters right out of our life.. But maybe it's Carl in the cubicle 3 down from you, and you just really don’t have a choice. You’re not going to quit your job over it and he’s not going to get fired. You can’t ‘unfriend,’ either because that causes new drama, so just unfollow, forget, and move on.

Now.. on to the last one… (and this is the one that a LOT of people are in denial about.)

Number 3.. Unfollow anybody that you are “Hate Watching”.. Or “Hate Following”

If you are watching someone’s live video, or following someone online with the sole purpose of being able to say, “Can you believe what they just did? What an A$$****!!” or “This person is a complete idiot..” then you’re guilty of ‘Hate Watching.”

You’re probably most familiar with ‘hate watching’ if you watch reality TV. 90% of people who watch The Kardashian’s aren’t doing it to praise their life choices.. They are watching it to make fun of them or to make themselves feel better about the fact that even with a ton of money, those people are waaay more screwed up than you are.. Which, in turn, makes people feel better about themselves. (ie. Hate Watching.)

Want a test to see if you’re doing this online? If you see a post and your first instinct isn’t to ‘like,’ ‘love,’ or provide support to the person, then you might be hate watching..

In business, we hate watch people all the time and we justify it to ourselves and say that we NEED to know what ‘so and so’ is up to for industry research, etc.

BS.. The truth is, any negligible amount of usable information gained by watching someone you don’t like is completely negated by the distraction and negative energy that it cost you to acquire it.

Regardless of your intentions, hate watching is a feather in the cap of the person you’re watching. They have succeeded in distracting you. Any moment that you focus on them, while they focus on growing their business puts them further ahead, & you further and further behind.

This is truly a ‘personal problem.’ YOUR personal problem.. You are distracted from taking steps forward yourself, because you are too busy watching someone else accomplish their goals.

It’s the ultimate ‘loser’s mentality.’

Unfollow.. Or better yet, unfriend. And focus on getting your own stuff done.